After about fifteen years of tanning…my husband helped me ween off of the idea that I needed to be tan Barbie. OF course, he has fabulous skin that tans like a Ken dollwith a tennis racquet in his hand and he has what I refer to as a candy coating which helps to protect his skin against sun damage. He doesn’t get brown, he gets a nice glow that reminds me of the orange m & m character, which pisses him off when I mention it. I guess he doesn’t think it’s a compliment. While everyone on my dad’s side of the family has similar olive skin tones, I was born pretty much as pale as possible without being classified as an albino.
I am lucky that my husband loves me with pale skin. He was so upset when he realized that I was still sneaking off to the tanning bed and telling him I was only using self tanner lotions! The tanning salon had changed the bulbs so I didn’t realize it but my back was red in two straight lines where the lights had burned me! I recall there being some yelling in which he explained that he refused to be married to a lady with damaged, alligator skin! He was right about something for once!
When I decided to quit tanning and embrace my pale skin, there is a painful in-between stage in which my skin is freckled and reddish. If I wait at least a year, it finally fades into a milky, designer shade of pale.
A few years back, while working for Estee Lauder, a client was upset that out of a zillion colors of foundation, we couldn’t match her skin color. she had tanned so often for so long, that her once pale skin was so red and blotched…she thought “red” was a skin color. THERE IS NO COLOR MATCH FOR SUN DAMAGE LADY. She was blinded by insanity at that point. she also said that her husband hated her tanning but she didn’t want to quit. She left with no makeup foundation because tried to match the brown blotches, I tried to cover the red and I tried to show her true color and let her decide which of her many damaged areas she wanted to be…she left confused. Not my fault – she was lobster colored and there’s no Double wear in the shade of Lobster.
Today I went to the dermatologist to get a biopsy on a spot that is concerning. This is the part where I pay for all those years of being fabulously tan. The doctor told me what I already knew and that is that my skin is not equipped at all to deal with direct, harsh summer sun. Because of this, I try to stay covered up. I have no base tan so 30 minutes of direct sun isn’t a good thing. This along with the fact that I’ve been a stranger to the gym pretty much for a year…means that I am a huge fan of pool cover ups!
Imagine my glee when I saw the new Johnny Was catalog had a black lace and mesh top that easily doubles as a pool cover up? I was able to get my hands on one and although it’s sheer, it’s still better than nothing at all!
I really do not believe in walking around totally naked at all times anyway. A friend of mine recently told me that she stands completely nude in the mirror every morning while she and her husband get ready in the bathroom. My advice to her was to stop this insanity immediately! If you are totally naked all the time, where is the treat? Even if you are super fabulous, would you think that after 20 years of marriage, seeing you naked every single morning might get sort of old for him? I do not want to see anyone naked for twenty years, every single day while doing mundane tasks like shaving or making coffee. I prefer a man in a suit every so often. I certainly pay more attention to my husband when he has on a suit instead of flopping around nude every morning. You see my point? I mean, unless you’re in the top 1% it’s probably best to cover up unless you’re in beast mode. Just a thought.
As for me, I certainly am not in the top 1% of my class, so I have to rely on my wits, charm and a good cover up here and there.
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